Videos and Jokes of the week!
Just thought I’d post some videos that I think might humor you.
Also I came across some really hilarious jokes, thought that I’d just share. Enjoy!
– Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”
– Sven’s walking down by the beach and sees Ole all sad and dejected. “What’s wrong?” he asks. “Oh, I tell ya, Sven … I’ve been working out, swimming at the beach here. I just can’t get the women to notice me.” Sven nods. “Ya know, Ole, I hear there’s a trick you can use. You take a potato and put it in your swimming trunks. I hear that makes the girls take notice.” Ole nods, “By golly, I’ll give that a try!” The next day, Sven sees Ole at the beach — still sad. “Ah, Sven” he sighs, “I tried that potato thing. It just didn’t work.” Sven looks at him and says: “Ya know, Ole … I think that potato is supposed to go in the front.” [Late O’Day]
– There was a bear and a rabbit who hated each other and one day, walking through the forest they lived in they found a magical lamp. After a bit of fighting over it the bear took it and rubbed it, hoping for a genie to come out. When the genie came out of his lamp he promised the bear and the rabbit three wishes for each for releasing him from his lamp.
The bear immediately said “I want all the bears in this forest to be female” The genie granted his wish.
The rabbit thought about what to ask for a while and finally said “I want a motorbike helmet”. The helmet appeared in front of him and he promptly put it on his head.
The bear was confused about the rabbit’s wish but carried on with his second wish. “I want all the bears from the neighbouring forests to be female”.
The rabbit then said “I want a motorbike”.
The bear just couldn’t believe how strange the rabbit’s wishes were and shaking his head wished “I want all the bears in the world to be female” and the genie granted his wish.
The rabbit got on his new bike and rode off, and when he was some 50 metres away from the bear he yelled “I wish that the bear was gay!!” [ImplosiveFire]
– Billy Bob saw his friend Bubba walking up the road, carrying a bag over his shoulder.
“Bubba, what you got in thet bag?”, he asked.
Bubba said, “I gots me some chickens in this here bag!”
Billy Bob said, “Bubba, if I guess how many chickens you got in thet there bag, can I have half of them?”
Bubba says, “Billy Bob, if you guess how many chickens I got in this here bag, you can have them both!”
Billy Bob thinks for a minute and says, “Seven!” [RobS]
– What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef… [Hannah]
– A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, um did you realize you have a steering wheel stuck on the front of your pants?” The pirate says, “Aaargh, I know, it’s drivin’ me nuts!” [Hannah]
LoL! If you just can’t get enough and want to read more, just click on this! Maybe I should come up with a post like this, top 50 jokes I find on the net. What do you think?